After my last entry, many of you emailed me and told me that you read my blog consistently, loved it and appreciate my candor. When I have also seen a few of you in person, you have told me the same thing. Thank you, I will stop wondering why I do this. I often ponder why anyone would care enough to read my blog but many of you have told me you read it and that I am an inspiration. I haven't figured that one out yet - still pondering. So on that note, when you read it, if you haven't done this already, will you please look to the right of my blog and hit follower? That would make me happy. I would have followers. I promise not to offer you any kool-aid. I just like to know.
Back to the late 90's early 2000. I went along in life raising our four beautiful children, doing my volunteer work and just making sure I didn't trip. I went along like this for several years, contnuing with my injections. In the meantime I had developed high blood pressure and high cholestrel. Was it genetics, was it my life style? Who knows, what drug do you want me on? I don't want a stroke or a heart attack. I'm not martyring (SP?) for anyone. I want and need to be around for my kids. If my Doctor thinks I need it, I'm on it. Of course I questioned it, but looking at the numbers - which pharmacy do I want to pick these up at?
Life continued. My Neurologist would get so upset with me because she wanted to see me every three months and I normally came in once a year. She was never a happy camper but hey, I have an incurable disease, I'm on one of the few drugs available, there is nothing new out there therefore nothing more for you to do for me to warrant me coming in and wasting your time and mine. I had plenty of appoinments to go to for Tyler.
That is one of my lifes pet peeves - to have my time wasted and to waste yours. There is not enough time in life to be wasting it . . .so I didn't. As with MS I continued to progress slowly and steadily. But wait! I have Relapsing Remitting MS! That means you have a flair,up do worse and the get better again, at least a little bit. But that never happened with me. It was subtle and steady. Most times I didn't realize the changes that were being made to my body until it was too late.
Which is amazing because I have always been sooo in tune with my body. For instance, each time I got pregnant I knew the day after conception. The doctors always said that that was not possible, so I would just smile and know what I knew. Ladies never let a Doctor tell you that you don't something about your body that you're sure of. Its called a woman's intuition or that gut feeling and for many, if you pay attention to it, it will guide you well. I lost three babies between Brandon and Tyler and with one of them, two weeks after conception I called the doctor and told them my baby had died inside of me. You have to miss a period before you can even take a pregnancy test and I hadn't missed a period yet so of course I was wrong. I persisted! (not me). I told them that my breast had been a little swollen and definitely tender and my pants were already a little snug, but all symptoms ended that day. The baby had died. I think to humor this whacked out young lady, they told me to come in and they would do a sonogram. Guess what? There was the beginnings of a baby in there with no signs of life. They had to do an abortion to get it out of me so I didn't get an infection from it. We were obviously terribly bummed. Boy, I went way off topic - but my point is - ladies and maybe gentlemen, if you pay close enough attention to your body, you will know it better than anyone.
Back to my angry Neurologist. :-) Each time I went in I had gone thru definite changes, none that she could have stopped. My balance was getting iffy and at one appointment she ask me if I founD myself walking and hanging on to things. Yes, as a matter of fact I realized that I didn't walk down the hallway at home without my hand on the wall. and when I walked outside I usually held on to someones arm, Tyler's most often. He knew exactly how to hold his arm to keep me steady. With that realization, my Neurologist pointed out that it was time to get a cane. What!!!! I don't think so! They brought one of theirs in and showed me how to use it. They do have to show you, which I didn't know, but you hold the cane in the hand of your good leg and when you walk, you bring the cane forward putting pressure on it at the same time as bringing your bad leg forward. Crap, it did seem to make walking a little easier .. . . but a CANE! come on~ So they told me to borrow the office cane for a week and then decide if I would buy one or not. I used it to walk out to the car and we stopped at Johnstons Medical supplies on the way home and bought me my first cane. Barry returned the office cane the next day.
Back to the late 90's early 2000. I went along in life raising our four beautiful children, doing my volunteer work and just making sure I didn't trip. I went along like this for several years, contnuing with my injections. In the meantime I had developed high blood pressure and high cholestrel. Was it genetics, was it my life style? Who knows, what drug do you want me on? I don't want a stroke or a heart attack. I'm not martyring (SP?) for anyone. I want and need to be around for my kids. If my Doctor thinks I need it, I'm on it. Of course I questioned it, but looking at the numbers - which pharmacy do I want to pick these up at?
Life continued. My Neurologist would get so upset with me because she wanted to see me every three months and I normally came in once a year. She was never a happy camper but hey, I have an incurable disease, I'm on one of the few drugs available, there is nothing new out there therefore nothing more for you to do for me to warrant me coming in and wasting your time and mine. I had plenty of appoinments to go to for Tyler.
That is one of my lifes pet peeves - to have my time wasted and to waste yours. There is not enough time in life to be wasting it . . .so I didn't. As with MS I continued to progress slowly and steadily. But wait! I have Relapsing Remitting MS! That means you have a flair,up do worse and the get better again, at least a little bit. But that never happened with me. It was subtle and steady. Most times I didn't realize the changes that were being made to my body until it was too late.
Which is amazing because I have always been sooo in tune with my body. For instance, each time I got pregnant I knew the day after conception. The doctors always said that that was not possible, so I would just smile and know what I knew. Ladies never let a Doctor tell you that you don't something about your body that you're sure of. Its called a woman's intuition or that gut feeling and for many, if you pay attention to it, it will guide you well. I lost three babies between Brandon and Tyler and with one of them, two weeks after conception I called the doctor and told them my baby had died inside of me. You have to miss a period before you can even take a pregnancy test and I hadn't missed a period yet so of course I was wrong. I persisted! (not me). I told them that my breast had been a little swollen and definitely tender and my pants were already a little snug, but all symptoms ended that day. The baby had died. I think to humor this whacked out young lady, they told me to come in and they would do a sonogram. Guess what? There was the beginnings of a baby in there with no signs of life. They had to do an abortion to get it out of me so I didn't get an infection from it. We were obviously terribly bummed. Boy, I went way off topic - but my point is - ladies and maybe gentlemen, if you pay close enough attention to your body, you will know it better than anyone.
Back to my angry Neurologist. :-) Each time I went in I had gone thru definite changes, none that she could have stopped. My balance was getting iffy and at one appointment she ask me if I founD myself walking and hanging on to things. Yes, as a matter of fact I realized that I didn't walk down the hallway at home without my hand on the wall. and when I walked outside I usually held on to someones arm, Tyler's most often. He knew exactly how to hold his arm to keep me steady. With that realization, my Neurologist pointed out that it was time to get a cane. What!!!! I don't think so! They brought one of theirs in and showed me how to use it. They do have to show you, which I didn't know, but you hold the cane in the hand of your good leg and when you walk, you bring the cane forward putting pressure on it at the same time as bringing your bad leg forward. Crap, it did seem to make walking a little easier .. . . but a CANE! come on~ So they told me to borrow the office cane for a week and then decide if I would buy one or not. I used it to walk out to the car and we stopped at Johnstons Medical supplies on the way home and bought me my first cane. Barry returned the office cane the next day.
No comments:
Post a Comment